Thursday, September 24, 2015

Mountains of Jealousy

The internet is brimming with people who have the capacity to make me jealous, just by virtue of the little I see. Blonder. Younger. With invisible baggage, not yet visible through the rosy-colored lens of cyberspace.
And I have a propensity for jealously.
(it might be the green eyes).
I am not proud of this. I would like to be the yogic yogini who says, "I realize that that person is the same person as me, and therefore I will simply be happy for their happiness," but unfortunately it is more common for me to seethe and stew. Happiness for the virtuous, blah, blah, blah. It's all nice and good on paper and in philosophy class, but PEOPLE. Do you SEE how much x-er and y-er and z-er she is than me?
Earlier this week I had a moment where words that came out of my mouth in one context landed on my ears in another: there is no such thing as competition. I legitimately do not believe in it. You can say I'm wrong, and I'll throw a sutra at you. But I do not believe that two people teach the same thing, write the same thing, or offer the same thing.
I said this in the context of teaching yoga, but I heard it in the context of my duel with jealousy. My inadequacies shifted once I realized that I am me, and I will get a whole lot further in this life if I focus on being the best me rather than a copy of the best her.
The rest is out of my control, and thank goodness.
Never fault a pig for having a shorter neck than a giraffe. And don't judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree. And if you see them out there on social media - you know them - the ones who have it all together, or are taller or younger or better singers - the ones who do not have bad hair days and don't get pregnant until the exact moment that they want to, and then do on a dime? They are not you. And this is not a score board. And there is no game to win or to lose.
Address your mountain.
And leave theirs to them.

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